So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
