I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
