Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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