I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
