We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
