last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
