i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
