i don't like sucking hair
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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