Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
