So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
