the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
