Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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