Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
