U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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