Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
