dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we made out on top of his cat.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
