You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize