Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
