I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
