the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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