I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize