so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
