his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize