I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
