And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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