just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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