I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
