I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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