she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
