You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
How naked do you want me to be?
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