Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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