Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
