Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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