YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I want to make a zoo with you.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize