I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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