You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
