you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
