well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
