he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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