Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
