So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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