I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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