the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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