im having a threesome with these popsicles
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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