While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I need to sanitize my soul.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
