I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize