I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
