yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
