yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
