Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
