my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
