I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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