I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
