Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
