We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
