So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
