Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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