At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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