she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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