Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
