I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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