he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
