Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
