So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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