I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
