I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
