he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
