The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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