Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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