We won't sleep together?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
